she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize