So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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