That's when you crack a 10am beer
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
