How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize