You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
