I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
