Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
NoShamevember. You game?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
