god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
