i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
