Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize