My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
