Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
