College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
