how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
