you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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