you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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