This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
