I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
