We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
