He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
