Pappa wants mamma naked
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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