Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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