That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize