Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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