I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
