Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
