We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
