she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
