Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
