So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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