i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
