when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
