Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
