I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
