id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
