Michael Bay diarrhea
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
