If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Terrible idea I love it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
