Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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