I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
