I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
