who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Still dying that you shit outside
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize