I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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