Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
