after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
