eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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