..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
