Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
