New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
