who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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