just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize