Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize