It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize